Way back to you
by Sunshine170
Summary: So tell me, if our love is timeless, then what happened to us? After everything, how did we not make it through this? One shot for S5 . Possible spoilers implicit.


"So do you want to talk about it?" Etta asks her mother as they check the weapons and ammunitions sprawled out in front of them, acquired from a black market deal.

Of all the possible mother daughter bonding experiences they could have, loading guns and drawing out battle plans seems to be the only way they get to have anything that qualifies as quality time.

"Talk about what?" Olivia asks absently as she assembles a Beretta effortlessly.

"Oh I don't know…" Etta feigns nonchalance. "The weather, how weird it is for you to be borrowing my clothes instead of the other way round, about how you and dad don't seem to stay in the same room for longer than five minutes. Or how you manage to always come up with ways to split up rather than work together. Or how you never talk to each other directly, always speaking to the group instead, and the fact that you're wedding rings are gone..." Her voice trails off as she looks at her mother for an explanation.

"Somebody should give you a gold star for your deductive skills." Olivia comments, shaking her head, even as her expression changes with what Etta tells her.

"I am a Fringe agent you know. I may not be Olivia Dunham star investigator but I do like to think I can put two and two together." Etta says, looking at her mother. "And what I see are two people who are trying their best to avoid each other. And it doesn't make any sense to me. "

_ How come when nobody knows and it doesn't make sense, they come to us?_

"Welcome to the original Fringe division." Olivia smirks humorlessly. "Where things never make sense until of course Walter makes something explode, comes up with an absurd theory and we have an explanation."

"So what has to explode for me to have an explanation as to why you're acting this way with each other?" Etta asks and Olivia simply smiles at her.

"Everything's fine honey. You don't have to worry about us." She shakes her head, her expression far from unconvincing. "Let's just concentrate on the task at hand okay. Other things can wait."

"Can they really?" Etta asks. "Mom, this is not the same world that you guys left behind. Things can't wait. There's no guarantee of tomorrow anymore. Hell there's no guarantee of five minutes from now."

"Well then I guess we'll just have to take a chance." Olivia shrugs. "Etta, we really don't have the time to be getting into personal things right now. Pass me the bullets." She says dismissively as she picks up another gun and begins to load it.

"Is this how you pushed him away too?" Etta asks as she hands her the box, not missing the way Olivia freezes for a second, swallowing audibly.

"Etta, please." She pleads in a tired voice. "This it between your father and me. It doesn't concern you."

"Like hell it doesn't." Her daughter says incredulously. "It concerns me a great deal that my parents can't even look at each other. I spent twenty years of my life wanting my family back and working towards that and this passive aggressive indie movie nightmare is the payback I get."

"What were you expecting honey, something out of a Norman Rockwell painting?" Olivia asks smiling at her affectionately. Her smile falters then, when she looks at the anger on her daughter's face.

"Sorry we disappointed you by turning out to be the people that we are." She says genuinely. "But we can't pretend to be something we're not."

"No…the last thing I want you to do is pretend. But can you at least be honest with me." Etta says a little more calmly. "What's so wrong? What aren't you telling me? Did you guys get a divorce, are you not together anymore?" She asks hesitantly not sure if she wants the answer to that question.

"Divorce?" Olivia laughs mirthlessly. "We lost our only child and the world was falling into pieces and you think we'd sit around with lawyers and initiate proceedings and fight over who got to keep the china?" She then looks at her not amused daughter and shakes her head. "No we didn't get a divorce and as to whether we're together or not… well that's a really hard question to answer because the truth is I don't know."

"What does that even mean?" Etta asks confused.

"It means…. that when two people's lives are so intrinsically linked in a connection that goes beyond relationships and labels… it becomes hard to know where you stand with the specifics." Olivia says, rubbing her ring finger in an unconscious gesture. "Your father and I, we really never stopped being together, whatever that means. Losing you was so hard, we should have been there for each other, tried to hold on to each other…" Olivia swallows, trying to emerge from the memories which were still so fresh in her head.

"But we were partners, a team long before anything else and we'd just become really good at doing that no matter how much of a mess our personal lives had become. It's what was always easy you know… the idea that something larger than you needs your energy and so you ignore the pain that you're in and let the distance grow, ignore the fighting that's pulling you apart without even understanding what's happening to you. And then you wake up one day and realize that the person lying next to you has become a stranger."

"We lost our way to each other Etta." She shrugs, closing her eyes as if she was in pain. "And for the first time in all the years I've known your father, I am not sure we'll find our way back."

"Do you still love him?" Etta asks her.

"Of course I do." Olivia nods. "That's not what this is about. It's more complicated than that."

"I don't see how it is. You love him and he loves you… there's no reason for anything else to matter." Etta shrugs.

"Wish it were that simple honey." She smiles wistfully at her daughter. "You see the thing is… your father has always given me more than I could give him. He's always been far too understanding and patient with me, even as I've struggled every time to open my heart and let him in and as wonderful as he is for doing that, it's taken a real toll on him, even if he won't admit it. I just… I don't think I can put him through that again, especially when I am not even sure we can salvage this."

She looks at Etta with a strange sadness and longing. "I see the way he is with you…and it's like nothing ever changed. He's always had such an effortless relationship with you. It makes him happy. I can see that and I think…the best thing for him is to let him have this and not complicate things. The least I can do is give him some peace of mind. He deserves that much."

"Are you kidding me with this?" Etta asks looking at Olivia like she's lost her mind. "Peace of mind? That's what you think dad deserves? Did you suffer brain damage from the amber or something?" She scoffs, shaking her head.

Her parents were certified idiots, she was sure of it now.

Olivia looks taken aback, mostly because she's not used to having her daughter talk to her this way.

She's actually not used to anyone talking to her this way.

"You know for someone who's supposed to be this great investigator, you're rather clueless when it comes to recognizing what's in front of you. You both are." Etta says in an exasperated tone.

"Etta...honey please." Olivia begins to respond.

"No, don't Etta honey me." She puts up her hand. "You may think this is none of my concern and you know what, you may be right. But you both are being monumentally stupid and somebody has to be the voice of reason and unfortunately for you, I've nominated myself for that position, so you're going to have to listen to what I have to say. You owe me that much." She says crossing her arms across her chest.

Olivia nods, knowing a lost cause when she sees it.

"You think that staying away from dad is what is best for him? But you don't even see what it does to him. Have you seen the way he looks at you? God, mom it's like he worships the earth you walk on. I've never seen anybody look at someone with that much love or longing." Etta says a little calmer by now as she presses on, not missing the way her mother's expression has turned pained.

"You have no idea how he was before we found you Mom. He was absolutely distraught that something had happened to you and he was unstoppable in his quest to find you. He didn't care about his own life or anything except making sure we got you back. Now I am no expert on relationships but somebody who goes to that length for the person they love is not looking to be left alone, despite what you think. "

"He needs you mom, he needs you so much…" Etta says. "But he won't say anything and you need him too. I know you do. I can feel what you go through every time you steal a look at him when you think nobody's watching."

"It's not…"

"You keep saying it's not easy. But don't you see how easy it is?" Etta asks, her voice almost pleading. "I can't watch you two suffer like this for something which is so fixable. All you have to do is try. And if you won't do it for me, you should do it for yourselves. " She says quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

She leaves Olivia with a stunned expression, simply standing there as she walks out of the room.

* * *

Olivia finds him staring away at the window, arms folded across his chest. The tension is visible in the straight line of his back, the way he seems poised, ready to charge into action at the slightest hint of danger.

She almost turns away from her intended path, but she pushes aside her apprehensions and walks over to him, joining his side wordlessly .

He looks at her with mild surprise but doesn't say anything. He relaxes a bit though, leaning against the wall….adjusting his posture so that he was looking sideways at her.

"So our daughter just made it to the top of the long list of people overly interested in our relationship." She comments, giving him the briefest smile.

He returns it with a full grin and nods in understanding. "I am guessing you got the Etta Bishop brand of couples' therapy. All snark…zero warm fuzzy feelings."

"She spoke to you too." She says.

"More like she spoke at me." He chuckles wryly. "I tried to point out to her that it wasn't any of her business and you can imagine how well that went down with her…. I believe she called me an idiot at some point." He says looking somewhat amused. "We got lectured by our daughter. Isn't it supposed to work the other way around?" He asks her.

"She's not very subtle about expressing herself." Olivia says smiling.

"Well at least she didn't make us a candle light breakfast and cue _Feelings _on the record player and trick us into being alone." Peter says dryly.

"What's the deal again with other people trying to get us together and being unduly excited about that all the time Liv? Walter, Nina, Markham, even that poor girl who got possessed by that wife beater and now Etta… Its' like our relationship has its own fan following." He smirks at her.

"Considering how messed up we are, I'd say our fan following has some sad and twisted notions of romance." She laughs, feeling a little bit lighter.

"You mean our inter dimensional epic saga of love." He grins sardonically, turning fully towards her. "If you think about it, we're just like Romeo and Juliet, star crossed lovers from warring universes."

Olivia snorts at the reference. "We're a little too old and married to be star crossed lovers Peter."

"Aahh… but our love is timeless sweetheart." He quips and immediately falls silent, noticing the way the pain flickers through her face when he calls her sweetheart.

She rests her back against the wall fully. A melancholic expression sets into her face and she looks at him sadly. "So tell me, if our love is timeless, than what happened to us? I mean we survived inter-dimensional war, we survived your erasure from a timeline and me forgetting about your existence, we survived a mad man trying to play god. Peter, we survived death for crying out loud. And after everything, how did we not make it through this?"

"Because we forgot we were human just like everybody else." Peter says evenly, mirroring her expression. "We didn't survive this because we didn't even try. For once, what happened with us was nobody's fault but our own and we were too obtuse to see that. Stupidly we thought that somehow what happens to other people when they don't deal with loss didn't apply to us. We simply convinced ourselves that more important things needs our attention. That the fact that we stopped talking to each other or that we were pulling away from each other wouldn't have consequences, wouldn't damage our relationship. The sad truth is we took our marriage for granted Liv, and it didn't survive the neglect. This time... it's all on our heads, no doppelgangers, no mad scientists, no ancient machines that alter timelines and zap you from existence." He smirks humorlessly at her.

"I suppose you're right." Olivia nods. "We spent three months sleeping in the same bed and not saying a single word to each other and it never occurred to either of us how wrong that was."

"Well we didn't just sleep…" He points out with a faint smile on his face, causing her to blush as she remembers all those times they had wordlessly sought each other for moments of brief and empty comfort. Something which allowed them to escape the unbearable pain of being. "At least we still had a sex life, if nothing else."

"Yeah… I guess." She nods, feeling a sinking feeling settle in her stomach. "Maybe if we had some privacy, we can go back to jumping each other's bones again."

"Did you just make a joke Dunham?" He asks chuckling with amusement at her statement, even if his eyes were far from happy.

"Between you and your daughter…I have to keep my wits about, or I'll be drowning in a deluge of Bishop sarcasm." She rolls her eyes at him. "She's just as bad as you, you know. I swear I am going to get whiplash." She shakes her head, tiredly wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Wouldn't want that now, would we?" He says gently. "You're not sleeping or eating properly, Liv. You have to take care of yourself you know. We can't have you running on empty all the time."

"I know. The mission is too important to take a chance." She nods in agreement.

"I am not talking about the mission." He says moving closer to her. "I am talking about you. You get so caught up in everything else; you always forget to look out for yourself."

"I thought that's what I married you for." She lightly quips looking at him, thrown off balance by the concern in his eyes, even as her own words sound hollow.

"Of course that's what you married me for." He nods, bringing a hand to her cheek hesitantly. "I am always going to take care of you whether you like it or not."

"Believe it or not, I like it very much when you take care of me." She smiles at him, leaning into his touch, closing her eyes.

"Peter…" she whispers, not daring to open her eyes.

"Yeah…" He whispers, his fingers now stroking her cheek in the lightest of movement.

"Do you think we can survive this too? We have to be able to right?" She looks at him now, her eyes expressing the hope and anguish she feels. "I know some things are just too damaged to repair. I just never thought we would be one of those things."

"We aren't." He shakes his head with determination, pulling her into an achingly familiar embrace the next moment, his hold over her tight to the point of constriction, as she buries herself into his jacket inhaling the comforting scent of him.

He tilts her head towards his gaze slowly, brushing her hair from her face, as he pulls her into a gentle unassuming kiss.

It's the first time he's kissed her since they blasted her out of the amber. The way he had held her in his arms and looked at her with desperation. Calling her name out as he pulled her lips into a tortured kiss of longing, one she'd returned in full measure.

That was four days ago.

He lets go very slowly, his forehead coming to rest on hers and he wordlessly holds her still as she trembles slightly in his embrace.

"We'll be alright Liv." He whispers against her lips. "It may not be today, or even tomorrow. But we'll be alright."

"We have to be." She tells him, feeling something like hope burgeon inside her. "We can't disappoint our fan following can we?" She laughs, letting him pull her into a kiss again.

"No I guess not." He nods. "And frankly, having Etta tell us off again is something my parental ego can do without." He drops a kiss on each of her eyelids. "So… out of curiosity, were you serious about jumping each other's bones because I think that would be highly beneficial in putting us on the fast track to reconciliation?"

"Is that your expert opinion now?" She says, closing her eyes in pleasure as he find the sensitive point on her neck, nipping gently with his teeth in response.

"Are you guys for real?" She hears a voice and disentangles herself from Peter's embrace to look at their daughter standing in front of them, watching them with disbelief even as she's smiling

"One minute you pretend like you don't even know each other and the next you're playing tonsil hockey."

Olivia blushes profusely; more than mortified to be caught making out with her husband by their daughter, trying to muster a reply to that except Peter beats her to it, a grin plastered all over his face. "I thought this what is you wanted honey. For us to be together."

"Yeah… but give me a little warning would you before I walk into god knows what the next time." She says dryly, her lips twitching in humor.

Peter simply laughs at that, pulling Olivia closer into his embrace, his smile teasing and Olivia can't help but smile in return. "Well, be careful what you wish for sweetheart." He says, pulling her into yet another kiss.

Etta's loud protestations are lost on her ears, as she leans into his kiss. She doesn't even register their daughter walking away with some comment about having to bleach her eyes out.

They were going to be alright. She believes him.


End file.
